Awesome Perks of Being Raised Catholic

Here's my daughter with a cake we made today to celebrate the birthday of Our Lady, the Mother of God.  I just can't get over how exciting it is to be able to celebrate, literally CELEBRATE, our Faith so often.  Before my conversion, I was a big fan of holidays.  I loved looking forward to the different seasons and their different celebrations.  Now I have even more things to celebrate since becoming aware of the Catholic Church's liturgical calendar year.  It's so cool that in my own home, the "domestic church",  I can participate in activities and devotions much like the Church at large does, all while teaching my children about their faith.  I can use art, crafts, cooking and prayer to communicate truths to them in a way that they easily understand and are drawn to.

I wonder what it must be like to be raised Catholic since I was not.  I wonder what memories my children will cherish.  I am in awe of how special EVERYDAY is when you are Catholic and you see things from an eternal perspective.  In a way, I feel deeply connected to all the preceding Christians, saints and martyrs from the last 2,000 years and this is an incredible feeling.  I hope my children pick up on this and understand eventually how our Catholic Faith is a gift handed down to us and how many people sacrificed their own lives for the Truth.  Let us never take it for granted.

I have a home altar- finally!

Here is something I have been dreaming about for a long time, my very own home altar.  I guess it's not really a big deal to have one but I just love them and I had fun setting this up with my mom while she visited us.  Everything in the photo was a gift from family and friends (how blessed I feel) except for the votive holder which was $1 at Michael's, the mini frame holders and the lace and fabric underneath.  Even my beloved Magnificat subscription is a recurring birthday gift from my dear Mother-in-law.  Thank you to my sister especially, for giving me this night stand to use.

Since our homeschool area is primarily in our bedroom (we live in a 2 bedroom condo) I like that the altar will be nearby (it's also in the bedroom) as we do our circle time and art projects.  Nothing is more important to me than making sure my children know their faith is the most important part of their education.

The Extraordinary Form of the Mass

Last night I was truly blessed to be present at the first Solemn High Mass offered in Charlotte in decades.  I have been to a couple of Latin masses before but the Bishop was celebrating along with many priests, seminarians and altar boys for the Feast of St. Ann (Mother of the Virgin Mary) and since it was held at St. Ann's church it was, let's say, a really big deal and one of the most beautiful things I've ever been a part of.

It was pretty much standing room only and that made me hope that more priests and their parishes will consider offering the Latin Mass.  There was a universal reverence in the church that you don't always see at Mass in the Ordinary Form.  For example, there were many women wearing chapel veils and at the end of the almost two hour Mass the entire congregation recited the prayer to St. Michael the Archangel.  It was a very moving, unified moment as Catholics, strengthened by the Eucharist we had just received, to pray for protection from the evil and temptations of the world we would once again enter into after leaving Mass.

The Gregorian Chant seemed to be the only music fitting for the miracle that is The Sacrifice of the Mass.  The obvious focus and devotion that the priests and servers had for every movement and element of the Liturgy was an invitation for contemplation.  The humble act of kneeling at the altar rail and receiving Holy Communion on the tongue is something that needs to return in even the Ordinary Form, in my opinion.

I am grateful that our wonderful Pope Benedict XVI is encouraging this form of the Mass to return and I am hopeful that this new generation of seminarians and young priests will embrace it wholeheartedly as they have been victim to the negative effects of the changes of the last four decades.  I saw the utter joy and peace on their faces last night after the Mass that can only be had when you know you were part of something True, Good and Beautiful.  It was truly like Heaven on Earth.

May the Holy Spirit guide The Church to universal perfection of The Liturgy so it may be a witness to the mystery, beauty and perfection of God Himself.  Amen.

Is the Pope brainwashed?

I heard through the grapevine- and it's not the first time- that some people think that I have been brainwashed by the Catholic Church.  This is highly amusing to me.  I mentioned it to my devoutly Catholic mother in law, who laughed and responded with "So the Pope must be brainwashed, too!"

I wish people would think before they speak up sometimes.  Have I been forced to believe what the Catholic Church teaches?  Have I had to check my brain at the door?  Have I been promised some awesome reward in this lifetime for buying into all the dogma?  No, no and no!  So, logically I am not brainwashed.  And therefore, the Pope isn't either. Our current Holy Father is actually an extremely intelligent man who we would do well to listen to sometimes.

In fact, let's pretend for a minute and just say I was raised Catholic, which I wasn't, and back then in the 80's I actually had a clue who Pope John Paul II was and I actually heard his message to young people about God and about not being afraid and about our dignity and the beauty of married love and the responsibility of parenthood.  Would I have been introduced to sex at such a young age?  Would I have been so easily seduced by sin? Would I have become as vain and pleasure-focused as I was, starting very young?  Would I have wasted many, many years searching painfully for an end to my pain, which came from those very "pleasures" the world promised would make me happy?

Perhaps that one man, the Pope, who represented the Catholic Church, in introducing me to Who made me, and what I was made for, would have given my that knowledge so that I could use not only my brain, but ALL my faculties to experience and be all that I am meant to be as a Daughter of God.

I am not complaining about my life, I am just using this as an illustration to prove that it was the media and the popular culture which  "brainwashed" me and NOT the Catholic Church.  The former promised a happy life and didn't deliver; the latter promises a meaningful life and has made me happier than anything on Earth.

    "Young people are threatened... by the evil use of advertising techniques that stimulate the natural inclination to avoid hard work by promising the immediate satisfaction of every desire."
                                                                                                       -Pope John Paul II

Our Lady of Fatima for the clueless!

Love this 4 minute video, since it pretty much tells you everything you need to know about Fatima in, well, 4 minutes!  Watch it if you have no idea what I am talking about.  I promise you will be intrigued even if you aren't Catholic.

Why I love Bible Study

           "He opened their minds so they could understand the Scriptures." Luke 24:45


I just completed my second year of Bible study and feel a huge sense of accomplishment!  I have now studied, in depth, The Gospel of John and The Acts of the Apostles. The rewards have far outweighed the effort I put into it and I look forward to our class starting again in the fall.
When I signed up for it 2 years ago, I had no idea how it would change my life.  I had no knowledge of scripture beforehand and frankly, if I tried to crack open the Bible, I would be bored to tears.  My only exposure to God's Word was at Mass and it didn't sink in for me.  It sounded pretty foreign and out of date to my modern ears.  Ok, I know I am not making Catholics look good here, but hear me out!
Ordering my materials for the class, an RSV Bible, our binder with all the study materials, and a Catechism  was exciting!  I will embarrass myself even further here and admit that I had never read the Catechism of the Catholic Church either.  I would love to blame this entirely on the RCIA program I attended before converting, but I would be lying if I didn't say I might have had some reservations about what I may find inside that huge thing, ha! But nobody told me either that what I was professing to believe when I got confirmed was all in there either. I probably would have changed my mind if that were the case! 
Anyway, I did my homework for the first class and a lot of the questions pertaining to the gospel reading would refer me not only to the Bible but to the Catechism as well.  I realized "Wow, you mean the Catholic Church and all these "rules" it has actually has a lot to do with the Bible?"  I was intrigued.  I literally couldn't put my Catechism down for a couple of weeks. I felt like I had discovered a gold mine.  Seriously. Then, when I was in class I noticed God's Word really started speaking to me, almost jumping off the page and right into my heart.  It was like a door was opened that previously I didn't have the key to.  The Bible, the Church, Christ Himself. It all started to seem cohesive and relative to my life.  From that moment on, I craved God's Word and the Sacraments for the first time in my life. And even more profound, I felt the presence of Christ in my life. Learning about my Faith made me realize what a gift it is and made me want to learn more.  Two years later, I feel the exact same way. 
Another thing I didn't anticipate was the friendship and support I would experience with the other women in my class. These women, especially the class leaders, were like no women I had ever known before.  They were wives and mothers, completely and lovingly dedicated to Christ and their vocations, always trying to better themselves.  I was drawn by their example and it made me re-evaluate how I was living my life.  Was I living what I professed to believe?  Was I striving for holiness?  I've read that true friends help you get to heaven.  If that is true then these are some of my best friends, even if I only see them once a week for an hour.  We have laughed and cried together and really inspired each other to be authentic Christian women.
The one thing I've learned that I would like to get out there.  If you are a Catholic and you aren't reading or studying the Bible you are not going to have the tools you need to be a faithful Catholic Christian.  Yes, Sacred Tradition is important, vitally important, but the Bible is just as important. Consult the Catechism of the Catholic Church to see how they are related to each other and how they form the foundation of our faith.  I think Bible Study, whether in a group or alone, is indispensable to growth in the spiritual life of a Catholic.  Especially so you can defend your faith and the biblical truths of Catholicism.  There are many great resources to help you; here are a few of my favorite resources; the last two books are by Patrick Madrid, a wonderful Catholic Apologist:


Ignatius Catholic Study Bible

Where Is that In the Bible?

Does the Bible Really Say That?

Other resources:

http://www.cssprogram.net/   This is the Scripture Study Program for Catholics that is highly recommended and that we use at my church.

http://www.catholic.com/  A major Catholic apologetics site, with lots of forums for discussion.  They also have a wonderful book catalog.

                   "Ignorance of Scripture is Ignorance of Christ."  - St. Jerome, 4th c.

Joy vs. Happiness

I want to share Jennifer Fulliwer's thoughts from her fabulous blog Conversion Diary on the difference between joy and happiness because it's exactly my experience and well, she's just a much better writer and blogger than I will ever be! Enjoy my favorite Catholic blogger ever, a former pro-choice atheist and now a Catholic wife and mother pregnant with her fifth child in six years:

Joy is something different than happiness, and it’s a whole lot different than surface-level pleasure or physical comfort. It’s something divine in origin, not subject to the ups and downs of human emotions, a kind of ecstatic contentment and explosive peace that can only come from contact with the Source of all life and love himself. I may have more challenges now than I used to, but they also don’t bother me as much as they would have before. When I would be in a mildly bad mood in my old life, it was like my discontent would sink right down to my bones. There was nothing to pad my soul, so even the slightest bumps in the road would rattle me to the core of my being. Now it’s like my soul is bubble-wrapped with joy. Even on the worst day, there’s only so much that my worldly circumstances can get me down. Sure, I still notice and feel and dislike the bad emotions, but they no longer have the power over me that they once did, because underneath it all, where there was once nothingness, there is now joy.

It’s a beautiful thing. But here’s the catch: the more intimately we know Christ, the more joy we’ll have…but Christ is the very embodiment of self-sacrifice, of pouring out oneself for the sake of others. In other words, going to fancy meetings in skyscrapers and driving a nice car and hosting luxurious parties are probably not going to bring you a whole lot of joy. But living a life ordered toward the service of others will. So, even though I have a long way to go in the selflessness department, I make a whole lot more sacrifices for others now than I did before my conversion. And I’m not joyful in spite of that fact, but because of it.

Earthly rewards

When it comes to motherhood, I tend to be hard on myself.  I am a very idealistic, perfectionistic type.  As for my temperament I am a "melancholic", according to Catholic tradition.  So, naturally that would make me hard on my children as well.
I always wonder if I'm doing it right since with a three and a half year old there is nothing predictable or set about her ways.  I'm constantly thinking, is this just how they are at this age or am I making her crazy?!  Well, after a couple of days of some regressive behavior on her part and a little more spanking on my part I got my answer tonight.
My children were fed, bathed and in their pj's playing with their new train track and I had just cleaned the kitchen, even mopped the floor, so I was feeling very good about my day.  Note to anyone who isn't a stay-at-home-mom: yes, this is a huge accomplishment in our world! I really couldn't have been more content at that moment which proves to me that this is my vocation for sure.  Then Betty June comes up to me and hugs my leg and says "You're a good Mommy." I had to ask her to repeat herself because I wasn't sure I heard her right.  When she said it again tears welled up.  I hugged her and said how happy that made me and that I wanted to be the best mommy I could be because I loved her so much.  She promptly said "And Jesus loves you, too!"  It was like she read my mind because I could never be a good mom or love my children like I do if I didn't know his love first.  This exchange touched me deeply because she's never said anything like that before or even told me she loved me.  She's just not the affectionate type.
When I had Betty June more than three years ago, I did not know God or his deep love for me.  And you can't give love that you haven't been given yourself.  I had a very hard time being a mom and bonding with her.  I will be totally honest. I was terrified, even resentful.  I went through a crisis from the time she was one until I got pregnant with Luke a few months later.  As I look back, I took her for granted because I was that selfish and lost.
So many good things and people came into my life after that and I believe with all my heart that God orchestrated it all because he knew I was finally ready to return his love. I quickly and eagerly came to know God's love and his plan for me. I was made new and saw everything in a new light.  It was as if I had been blind my entire life until then.
Now I do everything for Christ, who did the ultimate for me.  I want nothing more than to love Him and others, although I will admit I have a harder time with the others part!  But, even my three year old seems to be aware that my love for her is born of an even greater love...

The trouble with shirts nowadays.

Ok, so I'm going to rant a little here.  Today I attempted to go shopping for some tops, blouses, shirts, what have you.   Apparently it's been EONS since I went shopping because I didn't get the memo that you can't find a stylish, cute shirt without it being see-through.  Not too long ago, flipping through a cooking mag, I happened across this photo and I was immediately struck by the girl on the far right and her, well, almost completely visible chest due to her transparent tee shirt and push-up bra.  I am not EVEN going to go into what I think of the show Modern Family; I don't think I need to, lol.  But, doesn't she look pretty young?  I mean, obviously she's young because in the show she still lives at home with her parents. I hate to think of the millions of young girls who see this show and then think it's ok to wear something like that.  But, why wouldn't they since that's practically all there is in the stores!
I am going to admit that I am NOT the queen of modesty by a long shot but I know where to draw the line.  I was livid in the dressing room as I tried on a couple of shirts that looked like normal skin covering articles of clothing but then, as if my magic turned into pantyhose fabric when I put them on. I thought, well maybe you are expected to wear a tank top underneath but then I remembered this photo and just got ill about it.
I don't WANT a shirt that when someone looks at me their eyes immediately get drawn to what's underneath it, even if it is a tight tank top.  This fashion "trend" is offensive to women's dignity and cruel to men who can be weak in controlling their eyes and imaginations.  Modesty and style can go hand in hand.
Now I just have to find a clothing company that believes that and is within my budget.  Wish me luck!  Oh, and thanks for listening to me rant...

Holy Thursday

Tomorrow night will be my first time at a Holy Thursday Mass. For the Catholic Church this Mass celebrates the institution of the Eucharist and the institution of the Priesthood and the institution of the Mass itself. Wow, that's amazing! I'm not sure exactly what to expect but there should be some washing of feet by the priests, I believe.
During the last supper, Christ blessed the bread and wine with the very words used by Catholic and Orthodox priests today.  In telling his disciples to "Do this in remembrance of Me", he instituted the mass and made them the first priests.
After Mass, there will be adoration from 8pm until midnight. This is our opportunity to watch with our Lord for one hour in remembrance of his disciples who fell asleep during his suffering in the Garden of Gesthemane.
I am learning slowly in life that suffering is a sweet gift Jesus gives us in order to be closer to Him.  I actually look forward to uniting my tiny sufferings with him on the cross these next few days.





O you souls who wish to go on with so much safety and consolation, if you knew how pleasing to God is suffering, and how much it helps in acquiring other good things, you would never seek consolation in anything; but you would rather look upon it as a great happiness to bear the Cross of the Lord.


-St. Paul of the Cross

Etsy is so great!

I am so excited to have had this beautiful chapel veil custom made for me to wear to Mass on Easter Sunday!  If you are not familiar with etsy.com it's a wonderful place to find handmade treasures of all sorts, especially jewelry.

I was having a hard time finding a nice white chapel veil that would cover all my hair until I discovered a Catholic mom and artist who specializes in making them.  Wearing a chapel veil is a relatively new custom for me.  I've been wearing a black one for the past six months.  Pre-Vatican II, women were required to have their head covered in church, but many women today are choosing to wear them to imitate Mary's humble example and to show reverence for our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament.

May we all be joyfully anticipating the Resurrection of Our Lord this Easter!

http://www.etsy.com/shop/LadyinBlueShop

                                  “Veiling is the outward sign of an internal gesture of reverence to God. “

                                                                                               - Unknown

My Augustinian Conversion

A Catholic friend of mine recently described her  conversion as a "Pauline" conversion.  Wiktionary gives the definition of this as:

1. the conversion of Paul of Tarsus to Christianity on the road to Damascus
2. (by extension) any life-changing event in which one's views are significantly altered

This got me thinking about my own conversion experience and what it might be called.  I can't find a definition for "Augustinian conversion"  but I'm sure that's what it was.  St. Augustine of Hippo, of the 4th c. was seriously astray as a young man and lived a hedonistic life that resulted in having a child out of wedlock.  Eventually, with the many prayers and tears of his mother, St. Monica, he began his search for truth. But, he was stubborn and although at some point he intellectually had to admit his boyhood faith (Catholicism) was true, his attachment to sin, particularly sexual sin, kept his heart from following his head, until FINALLY he got it.
Oh, how familiar this is.  I remember being asked some questions by an Episcopal friend of mine a few years ago.  She didn't understand how in the world as a Catholic I would not let my future daughter take birth control. She asked me if I actually believed all that stuff the Church teaches about sex and birth control.  The sad thing is I said yes, I believe they are right about all of it but was I LIVING that?  No.  I was so stubborn and prideful that I didn't even realize how hypocritical it was of me to believe it but to think it didn't apply to ME.  I used birth control, I shacked up, as if I could be immune from their consequences.  
I'm not sure why I didn't feel compelled to change my ways, but I know that attachment to sin was the main reason I wouldn't even entertain the thought.  Pride should have been my middle name at that point.  Of course, the interesting thing is I only realize that in retrospect. I entered the Catholic Church in 2002 but it took until 2009 for me to even realize what that meant.  Thank God for the gift of my children who taught me that you can't be a hypocrite when you are a parent.  You need to live what you preach! And thank you, Blessed John Paul II for the Theology of the Body.  Within my Augustinian conversion, I did have a mini-Pauline conversion when I discovered that treasure on the true meaning of human sexuality. For anyone interested in learning more about it you can go here:


http://www.theologyofthebody.net/


It was not until I learned about that, finally picked up my Catechism and started reading Scripture that I GOT it.  The Church is a beautiful painting where all the brush strokes work together to form the whole; if you leave some of them out, you will not have that beautiful painting that is coherent, reflects reality and feeds the soul. Of course, this is what Christ asked of us.  To lay down our life for him, no more and no less...

Why I think children deserve a Mom and a Dad

I have been noticing something lately about my children that made me think about the gay marriage controversy, especially after my sister and I got into a little conversation about it today.  My daughter is only three and a half and my son, eighteen months but I have been amazed as a mother how set they seem in bonding in a special way to the parent of the opposite sex and I am talking at a very young age, as early as six months or so.  This has to be for a reason, right?  I mean, don't they say that's how we figure out how to have healthy attractions and relationships with the opposite sex?

I will say up front that I agree with the Catholic Church's teachings on the immorality of homosexual behavior but that's not what I want to discuss. Although, I will say the natural moral law plays a huge part in that teaching and that is what I want to discuss. I would love to hear other parents' experience as well. I know as far back as I can remember having a very special closeness to my father that just seemed very instinctual, like it came from a certain complementarity inherent in our genders. Now, having a son I am blown away by the same experience with him. We have an intensely affectionate bond that I simply don't have with my daughter, even though I love her just as much.

I think we need to be careful that we don't forget that men and women were created to complement each other, even though in a sinful world that doesn't always happen.  But, when we are in a marriage where our womanhood and manhood are respected and lived out properly our children naturally have their needs met and come to have a healthy understanding of their own sexuality and the special roles women and men play.

Obviously, cohabitation and divorce are also grave injustices against children and I certainly see that as well.  I know many of you will want to comment and I would love to hear your thoughts on the matter.  I know this is a controversial issue for my first post, but oh well, these are the things that I think about and thus, blog about!

Disclaimer: The below photo was used primarily for aesthetic reasons.  I do not have a particular fondness for John F. Kennedy and did not mean to imply that I did by using the photo.  Anybody who knows me knows that I have a soft spot for the 1950's and 1960's eras!

Welcome to my new blog!

I'm so excited to finally be blogging.  This will be my space to share my adventures in Catholicism!  I hope you enjoy.  First real post coming soon!